Soaptastic

Overall, daytime was pretty drama free this week. James Franco was on General Hospital for two seconds. It was terrible. And funny; though I doubt it was meant to be. Not much else to speak to in terms of casting news and so on that I care to comment on. Though I do want to give hugs to Kimberly McCullough, Michael Muhney, Hillary B. Smith, David Canary, and Florencia Lozano. Your cast mates/industry names made huge errors. You all deserved pre-noms. And with the exception of Smith (Sorry, Red, I got two in that category) you should have won the gold. Hugs. Tears. Love.

Storylines were kind interesting over the past two week, I guess. I didn’t talk about anything last week relating to actual soap operas, so I will try and make up for it this week.

NuJack Manning arrived in Llanview. The poor actor (who’s name is awesome, but I don’t really know how to spell it) has been getting a lot of beef. The actor prior to him was, you know, snarky. He wasn’t good. He wasn’t bad. It was a good month if he appeared and had a line. Just saying. People are now writing about that actor like he was the second coming of Kimberly McCullough (I wish I could have said Kristen Alderson, but frankly, she checked out when Brandon Buddy left). He was not all that, guys. The new kid is fine. They threw him into the middle of a story with a lot of history and animosity on the character; I’ll give it to you straight – he is on the wrong side of the bullying. This is not the actor’s fault though. He is doing well with the material he has been given. Overall, I’m happy. And, just so you know, my favorite OLTL teens are Matthew, Shane and Jack. Together. Hopefully one day they’ll be a love triangle.

Keeping it on One Life, Tess returned a few weeks ago. Um, I forgot how awesome she was. Like really. She is the bomb. Bree Williamson clearly loves playing Tess more than Jess; she rocks it. A few notes: (1) I would probably be okay if at the next integration of Tess/Jess/Bess/aka Messica, Tess was the surviving soul. (2) I went and watched the origins, I guess, of Ford and Jess having sex. I can see why people call it a rape, but when I watched it, it did not bother me that much. I kind of feel really dirty, though. I thought David Gregory and Bree had a slight spark that she hasn’t had with an actor since Forbes March (ex-Nash). (3) Brody Lovett is the best romantic hero on soap operas currently. Frankly, there is not much competition (see end of post). (4) Viki begging Ford to help commit Tess was the first time in that storyline that I faltered. Seriously, what an ass! He just blew right by her. (5) Langston, clearly not getting anything that is going on around her, has served for so much unintentional comical relief; I am sad to see Brittany Underwood go.

Touching on Langston’s exit for a moment, speculation is that she is offered a movie. What does that mean?!? Does Langston study film? I thought that was Ford and Markko’s thing. She’s not a real actress, right? Did I miss something? This comes across as incredibly out of left field for me.

And, a final note on One Life: John&Kelly4eva!!! Seriously, they are one of the hottest couples – especially for those two actors. I feel like both Michael Easton and Gina Tognoni have to be alphas in their acting situations, so many times they just run right over their costars, or they stoop to their level. Finally Michael and Gina are going head to head; it is awesome. The last time I liked John this much he was paired with Blair. Actually I might like him with Kelly even more than that. Kelly, um, I really liked Kevin. Not with Kelly. But I liked him. . . So, yeah. John and Kelly, please. (Which, PS, the first two letters of each of their names spell JoKe. Hehe. But the same could be said for the incessantly boring Joey and Kelly.)

General Hospital? Well, last week Ethan grew up. No joke. It happened right before our very eyes. NotBrenda blows up and suddenly Ethan is the adult in the situation. He ushers Molly, Morgan and Kristina out of the crime scene and cares for them until Alexis shows him. He talks to each of them, and distracts them with cards. It was so sweet. I love Ethan, now. I won’t lie – usually I want to throw him under the bus. Not this time, though. He’s awesome now. (I am wondering if it was Maya that brought him down. Probably not. She was essentially an awesome character; though her lack of airtime and emotional depth made it hard to relate.)

So, yeah. NotBrenda blew up. NotBrenda = Sam. Also, the limo was bomb proofed. Um, I am just letting my future fiancé know. If he HAS TO bomb proof our wedding limo, we are not getting married. EVER. I would deem him too dangerous. Just saying. (PS: I am also just saying that Brenda’s a dumb bitch.) Anyway, prior to finding out that it was Sam in the limo, Jax and Robin were awesome. Actually, they were beyond awesome. I can’t even . . . speechless. Then we find out it’s Sam and the camera pans to Jason. He has no emotions. End of episode. Okay, not it’s Monday. What will happen next? Jason is now next to Sam and is eye-begging Sonny for permission to leave with Sam. Okay, do we see a problem? I do! It was Sonny’s fault that Sam blew up! Jason should have been beyond fuming at him. I am sorry, but the Sonny/Jason friendship makes no sense to me.

Deaf Sam was pretty awesome. Kelly Monaco did a great job in those scenes. One thing that stood out to me as annoying, though, were her scenes with Molly. I don’t know if it was scripted or if Haley Pullos just forgot, but Molly did not seem concerned at all that Sam was deaf. Kelly was doing her best to slow Haley down, but it just did not happen. I guess it was in character for Molly to have rolled over Sam’s injury, but it was still a really awkward scene.

OMG! Did anyone else see Patrick and Robin holding hands on Tuesday! EEE! (Though, not to be a Debbie Downer, but I got totally nervous that she and Terrell were going to kiss on Wednesday. I don’t understand why I am supposed to like him. I hate him. I hate Lisa. Stop destroying Johnny. UGH.)

And on a final GH note, last week Lulu PUNCHED Dante. It was great. He totally deserved it. I guess I kind of liked Lulu and Dante once upon a time, but I LOVED that moment. Hehe. (I am curious though, who do people like Lulu with? I don’t think I have consistently ever liked that character with another character for longer than three months. Hmm . . . I didn’t like them the first time around, but as payback I could get behind her and Johnny. Matt’s a cutie too; though, he’s kind of boring.)

All My Children, ou!

Madison and Scott moved in together. The two of them moving all those boxes was so funny. All I kept thinking was “There is no way Madison has THAT MUCH stuff. Is she s hoarder? Oh my god! She totally has a bunch of toys in one of those boxes! Do you think the AMC props department ran out of stuff and just threw Spike and Ian’s toys in the boxes? Funny. Why don’t they just move empty boxes? I heard Stephanie Gatschet was a prankster, do you think this is payback for something? Funny.” And then we were told that they were for her baby. Darn. Not as funny as I originally thought.

Madison felt the baby kick. In front of Ryan! And he told her that she probably imagined it. I swear, if he ever said that to me I would have pulled a Lulu Spencer on him and punched that boy. Ryan, you do not tell a woman that she can’t feel her baby, you insensitive boob.

One more thing regarding this storyline: That phone call from Emma last Friday – I don’t know who plays that little girl, but I am rooting for her at the Emmys next year. Holy moly! That was crazy how scared she was. The camera angles and lighting were amazing as well. The whole scene with her in the car was just breathtaking. Wow.

And, onto the only other storyline I am paying attention to: Tad and Cara. I don’t necessarily love everything about this storyline, but I do love everything about Lindsay Hartley’s hair. So, I watch. Also, I think Michael Knight is looking a lot better than he has in past years, so he’s cute too. And Jake and Amanda are, well, Jake and Amanda. This is actually one storyline that I am not sure where it is going, nor do I really have a desire to see it end one way versus the other. I would be happy with almost any outcome. Jake and Amanda are cute. Jake and Cara are cute. Tad and Cara are cute. Tad and Amanda can be cute. It all works. I think the outcome is going to weigh heavily on the fact that Chrishell Stause is recurring, and to my knowledge she does still go on auditions. Both Michael Knight and Ricky Paull Goldin (as well as Chrishell) were just given pre-noms. I think we’re looking at a heavier story than originally planned. Lindsay ain’t no slouch either. She can do plenty of heavy lifting (Hell, she held the entire soap when she was on Passions).

And finally, when is Eddie Matos going to play someone not creepy? Also, I have seen a lot of bloggers wondering this: was Ryan and Greenlee’s wedding legal? I don’t actually know the legality of weddings, but I think it might be legally binding, but not viewed in the eyes of the church. Does that make sense?

Top Five Romantic Heroes on Soaps
1: Brody Lovett, OLTL
2: Tad Martin, AMC
3: Mac Scorpio, GH
4: Ethan Lovett, GH
5: Lucky Spencer, GH